Mountain Clams

Exorcism for shirts?

Is it possible for a shirt to be possessed? I have to wonder. This particular shirt doesn't have any sort of mystical origin, or even mystical artwork on it. It's a pretty nondescript beer t-shirt I picked up when I was in Seattle (and one of only three alcohol-related t-shirts I own).

A couple months back, my girlfriend borrowed this shirt. She was wearing it as she innocently drove to school. As she tried to pull in to the parking lot, someone was pulling out going the wrong way and hit her head-on. Her truck had pretty heavy damage in the front since the corner of the other person's bumper hit in the middle of hers.

Yesterday, while wearing the very same shirt, I left work to meet a friend for lunch. I was waiting to turn left at the stoplight just south of where I work. It's a double-turn (meaning that two lanes make the turn), and I was on the outside. The light changed to green and I accelerated around the turn, heading for the right lane of Belleview. So did the little old lady driving the car next to me.

Having the inside lane, she got just ahead of me enough that when she drifted into my lane (and almost into my truck), my front bumper would have been in the middle of her car. At first, I figured she just drifted a little wide on making the turn, maybe trying to avoid the tall median. But no, she fully intended to usurp my lane. I leaned on the horn and hit the brakes just a little too late. I had to swerve a bit and ended up going onto the curb on the right side of the road to avoid any collision. The old lady's reaction? She kept right on driving down the right lane, probably wondering why some lunatic was honking at her.

When I arrived at the Park Meadows Mall parking lot, I waited with my turn signal on for someone to pull out of their parking spot so that I could take a spot just beyond them. Someone approached from the other direction and hurriedly sped across the lane in front of me and into the parking spot just abandoned. It's a good thing I wasn't actually moving yet. I parked and went inside.

After lunch (which was quite tasty, by the way), I was pulling out of the parking lot. I was rounding a corner to the right, and a car was zooming around the same corner at the same time. Except... they were on the wrong side of the road. I was able to stop in time, and so did they, though it put them at a pretty funky angle. I let them maneuver their way around me, then left.

No accidents, but several people were definitely aiming at me that day. But I have to wonder what the shirt had to do with it all. Is it possessed? Is it some sort of beacon of evil?

How would one exorcise a shirt, anyway? Is it like getting a grape juice stain out? Or blood? I've seen the commercials. I know how hard some stuff can be to get out of a shirt.

Labels: life

posted by Brett @ 5:21 PM