Mountain Clams

Failed my Dex Check

If you know me, you know I can occasionally be a bit of a klutz. Okay, probably more than occasionally. It’s usually just embarassing, but sometimes, being a klutz can be pretty painful.

I was innocently walking down the stairs at my girlfriend’s place when all of a sudden, my foot slid forward in my loosely-fitting sock, right off the step I was standing on! WHAM! *thud*thud*thud*thud* Now, I’m looking up at the ceiling, wondering what happened, and starting to notice pain here and there. And there. Yes, there definitely hurts, too. My neck was sore for a couple days after that one. At least the steps were carpeted.

After dinner, my girlfriend and I went for a walk around her neighborhood. There’s a greenway with a mostly-dry creek through it that we were walking along. The side we were headed to get kindof steep and prevented us from walking any further in that direction. Rather than go back to the bridge we crossed, we decided to try jumping back across. I climbed down into the creek bed first, and Ray followed. I figured I could take a step and jump over the water to the angled concrete wall on the other side. I was wrong. My foot slipped on the slimy muck at the edge of the water, robbing me of the forward thrust I would have needed to clear the water, and I splashed my way across to the concrete. After my jump, my finger was stinging, and I felt patches of gooey dampness at my ankle where muck was kicked up onto me. Failed my dex check again! I had a cut under my fingernail that was starting to bleed, and muck on my shoes and pant leg.

The third and final entry in this somewhat overly revealing (TMI! TMI!) blog happened in a place where you shouldn’t be allowed to get hurt. I was lying in bed in the morning. The covers were mostly covering me, but it was a bit warm this particular morning. I decided it was time to get up, and my brain sent the signal to my hand to grab the blankets and throw them off onto the other side of the bed. My hand complied as best it could, but didn’t realize at first that the blankets were lying right over my crotch. So instead of throwing the blankets off, I reached down, grabbed my right testicle through the flannel sheet, and attempted to fling it across the room! Before I even knew what happened, I was doubled over in pain, thinking that with the day starting out like that, it might not be the best idea to make another attempt at getting out of bed!
I hope you enjoyed my pain more than I did.

Labels: life

posted by Brett @ 10:46 PM