Halloween - mitigated disappointment
Today's Halloween, in case you weren't aware. I know. Duh. For the past few weeks, there have been conversations about it. Among co-workers in my group, we talked about decorating the department in various ways, including the Simpson's nuclear plant, some sort of fish that eats people, and an old west jail house (all fine ideas in their own right). With other co-workers, it was the pumpkin carving contest. With my girlfriend, it was the costuming for the party last weekend, costuming for work, and trick-or-treat plans.
Enter real life.
My co-workers showed as much interest in decorating as a blind man at a peep show. I hate to say it, but their lack of enthusiasm was contagious. Why bother if I'm the only one with any sort of interest? So the department didn't get decorated. We didn't carve a pumpkin for the contest. And I was the only one in any sort of costume today. (No, a band-aid on the forehead doesn't count.)
School and other stresses have taken over for my girlfriend and me, interrupting our intentions at costuming for work, and is threatening the time needed for costuming for kids. She's still working on her homework, and I still have a test to take some time tonight. Joy.
On the bright side, the costumes we did wear to the party were really pretty spiffy, and drew many compliments from other party-goers. I was told I look good in make-up (though I'm not entirely sure how to take that). And the back-up costume I threw together for work today won me "best original costume" and $25 to a local restaurant. Score! Hopefully, the time needed for the last costume of the day will be there. But that means I need to leave 20 minutes ago....
Labels: Halloween
The Voice
Won't you take me back to school
I need to learn the golden rule
Won't you lay it on the line
I need to hear it just one more time
Oh won't you tell me again
Oh can you feel it
Oh won't you tell me again
Tonight
Each and every heart it seems
Is bounded by a world of dreams
Each and every rising sun
Is greeted by a lonely one
Oh won't you tell me again
Oh can you feel it
Oh won't you tell me again
Tonight
'Cause out on the ocean of life my love
There's so many storms we must rise above
Can you hear the spirit calling
As its carried across the waves
You're already falling
It's calling you back to face the music
And the song that is coming through
You're already falling
The one that its calling you
Make a promise take a vow
And trust your feelings its easy now
Understand the voice within
And feel the changes already beginning
Oh won't you tell me again
Oh can you feel it
Oh won't you tell me again
Tonight
And how many words have I got to say
And how many times will it be this way
With your arms around the future
And your back up against the past
You're already falling its calling you
On to face the music
And the song that is coming through
You're already falling
The one its calling is you
Each and every heart it seems
Is bounded by a world of dreams
Each and every rising sun
Is greeted by a lonely one
Oh won't you tell me again
Oh can you feel it
Oh won't you tell me again
Tonight
I have heard this song many times in the past, and liked it a lot over the years. It's amazing how a song can change as you apply it to your own life and experiences. This song changed for me today. I wish I knew what Justin Hayward had in mind when he wrote it for the Moody Blues originally. I'm sure it's nothing like what I think about when I hear the lyrics now.
Labels: music
Disturbing?
I like music, but I've never been what you might call good at making music. When I was a kid, I took piano lessons for a while at my mom's request. I played the baritone in the grade school band for all of a week. I tried the saxophone in high school, but my heart wasn't in it, so this, too, was given up.
So I suppose it might be surprising to find out that I bought myself an instrument this year: a lap dulcimer. (No hammers need apply.) I heard them this summer in Manitou Springs and was interested in learning more. I found one on eBay that was made by the place in Manitou that we visited several times. Unless PayPal is lying to me, I received it in early September.
Though I briefly messed with it shortly after I got it, due to various scheduling and motivational issues, I didn't do anything with it for a long time. Last night was the first time I brought it out of the case to play with on my own. I went through the first lesson in the little How To Play book, which covered tuning, note lengths and a couple really simple songs. All told, it took maybe 45 minutes. As you might expect, I seriously need practice.
When I was done, and had it put away, my son came upstairs from his room to tell me that he was hearing "really annoying guitar music" coming through the vents of his room and it was "disturbing" him. Hehe!
Labels: music
I don't even know what to call this
Walking on the ground, it is always so close. When perchance you find the wings to fly, the ground disappears. If your wings fail you, you want the ground beneath you again, but the distance between you has grown so much since last you took notice. The fall is instantaneous. There is no time to recognize the ground's absence, and there is no terminal velocity for the spirit. But there is still the impact. Poor, fragile spirit. Soaring one moment, shattered on the ground the next. A million tiny pieces scatter impossibly far away, out of reach. You feel as though you can't go on until the pieces find their way back. Some pieces never will. Those that do return come together creating a new mosaic. It is you, but it is different. Some gaps will fill in over time. The rest will whistle and moan in the wind you create when you fly again, until you can no longer hear them.
Labels: life
Pray!
This is my blog.
There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My blog is to my best friends.
It is my life.
I must master it as I must master my life.
My blog, without honesty, is useless.
Without my blog, my honesty is useless.
I must record my thoughts true.
I must write straighter than deception,
who is trying to silence me.
I must silence it before it silences me.
I will.
Before God I swear this creed.
My blog and myself are the defenders of my sanity.
We are the masters of our stress.
We are the saviors of my life.
So be it, until there is no stress,
but Peace
Labels: parody
Familiar Faces
It could be the hand of God reaching into my life, trying to tell me something. On the other hand, it's probably not so dramatic. It could just be coincidence.
On Sunday, I went to the Wizard's Chest to look for a costume. While I was there, I noticed a familiar face from across the room. "Martin" was looking in my direction. Apparently, he just retired from 20 years of working at K-Mart, and has taken a part-time job here for the holidays. Back in 1994 or 1995, he used to hang around some of the same places as me and play some of the same games (Magic: the Gathering; Dungeons and Dragons). He also kindof bugged the crap out of me.
Monday, I took Rick to his doctor appointment. The nurse that got his vitals introduced herself as "Ginger." Twice. That got my attention since there was a waiter at Dora's recently who also introduced himself twice. At least they both said the same name both times. It's not like the waiter introduced himself as Bob the first time and John the second. I am amused by the fact that I don't remember his actual name.
Anyway, this Ginger looked familiar, too. Finally, I just asked, "Are you married to Richard?" "I used to be," she replied. So this was the same Ginger I knew from about 1994-1995 -- the same time as Martin -- whose husband I used to play Magic with.
Very strange... Who's next? I know there are a few people from my past that I wouldn't mind seeing again...like that butt monkey "Jason Alexander" (no, I don't think that's his real name) who ran the Nuetral [sic] Zone shop and left town with my expensive Magic cards.
Labels: friends
Unmotivated
"Ich wei
ß nicht, was soll es bedeuten, da
ß ich so traurig bin..."
That's a line from a German poem I memorized (part of) while I was in high school. Die Lorelei, I believe it was... Roughly translated, it's: "I don't know why I'm so sad." The poem's about a siren singing to a sailor, and the sailor sinks his ship against the rocks by the cliffs.
I'm not really sad, nor am I sailing at the moment. And as far as I know, there are no irresistable women singing nearby. If there were, I might get out of bed. I'm just unmotivated. I sat for an hour at work today doing essentially nothing. I did the same thing at home, avoiding doing homework.
That's about all the blogging I feel like doing today.
Labels: life
So long
The sweetest, most adorable kitty crossed the rainbow bridge last night. Farewell, Photon.
She came into my life as a kitten, one that enjoyed trying to sleep on my face in the middle of the night until I would toss her to the end of the bed. After all, I was using my face for breathing at the time. That's difficult to do with a furball curled up on it. She really liked that game, often coming back for ride after ride on the midnight cat-apult.
She would enjoy it when I would hold her upside-down with her back in my hands. Her legs would stretch out and she'd look around at the world. Then - FLIP! Butt over head, she lands on her feet, looking up at me to be picked up again.
I found hours of entertainment watching her run around the grass in the back yard, stalking and chasing one bug after another in the warm summer sunshine, or wrestling with Thumbs, her big brother in life. Often, she would end up walking away from him with a chunk of fur in her mouth, spitting. Ptoo! Ptoo!
When I came home from work, she would greet me at the door, and follow me room to room until I pet her to her satisfaction. Sometimes, she would know where I was going and sometimes she would have to play "catch-up" with that look on her face that says, "I knew you were going to go in here."
As I sat at my computer, she would come in and leap to the top of my office chair in a single bound and wait for me to reach back to skritch her. Then I would lean back, and she would casually walk across me to stand on the desk for a little more loving, right in the middle of my keyboard.
At night, lying in bed, she would hop up and stand on my chest, where I would pet her a bit. Then she'd turn around and sit so that she can make biscuits on my belly and swish her tail just touching my nose. She knew where her tail was at all times. Then she'd curl up next to me and go to sleep.
She was my kitty. I was her human. May we meet again some day. /sniffle
Labels: cats
A Full Day
I woke up early this morning, with plenty of time to shower, get dressed, eat breakfast and drive to work in plenty of time. An hour of cuddling later, I finally pulled myself out of bed, late as usual. I rushed out of the house without having showered or shaved, realizing only as I turned south on I-25 that I forgot to grab anything for breakfast. I can't believe I did that! I even reminded myself before I went upstairs to at least grab a shake or something. Traffic sucks, but the HOV lane saves my ass. There were two stalled cars: one in the left lane and one in the center lane.
I got to work about ten minutes before my morning meeting, hungry and a little stressed. I made a couple packets of instant oatmeal, figuring I could eat them quickly enough. As I ate, I opened my email to see that the morning meeting had been canceled. Hurry up and wait! Okay, on to the usual tour - email, MySpace, IFGS boards and blogs.
Meeting time rolls around, and we made a valiant effort at covering the topic the meeting was scheduled for. Instead, though, we were interrupted by a fix that needed to go through as soon as possible. This is the same fix I worked on last Friday, but that didn't work because the software we have to work with is crap.
We moved to another meeting room where we spent from then until about 9 PM working through a series of failed possible solutions. For my trouble, I got a Chipotle burrito lunch (1,400 calories easy) and a chicken Caesar salad dinner. Many cookies were passed around, but I didn't eat a single one. Yay me. That totally makes up for the sour cream, guacamole and dinner roll I
did eat. I only took one break at 7:00 to run Rick to the store for more syringes (he's diabetic). I was originally planning on meeting a friend for dinner, but those plans fell through due to a death in his family.
After work, I drove home listening to a podcast on my iPod. The person doing the podcast actually warns me about the horrible sound quality, but I try listening anyway. That was probably a mistake, since it gave me a slight headache.
At home, I did an inadequate amount of cleaning up, then started some laundry. I watched an episode of America's Funniest Videos (I don't know how some of those videos earned that moniker) and the local weather forecast before helping Erika with her German homework.
Oh, yeah - homework! My classes started today! I walked into the bedroom, which is probably 10 degrees colder than the rest of the house. Sitting down on the bed, I glanced over at my neglected dulcimer. When will I have time? Must make time. How does one make time? Hm...
I logged into my class to review the syllabus, get the assignments, and submit my class introduction. After this, it was a little reading, then back to the usual web sites and a quick read-through of newsgroups before writing this and getting ready for sleep. Maybe I can sleep, anyway. My mind is still racing.
Good night!
/glances over at the stacks of folded clothes at the foot of the bed...
Damn it.
Labels: life
